Capitulated in a Capsule

My jeans around my ankles
As I fall to the floor
Give me that medicine
I can't take anymore.

I'm addicted can't you see
Your fucking drugs
Have made me

I'm losing control of inside me
The pills make it feel better
Just pop another, it's okay
I swear it feels so good, it lets me live another day

I guess it's my fault for listening to you
"Take these whenever you need to"
I get 4 refills for 200 pills each
In two separate bottles
That's too much, I was eighteen.

Willed myself off of them,
But now every time I feel weak
I know exactly what I can do to restore my peak.
Hide them, throw them away
It doesn't matter, the anxiety stays

Keep me coming back
Fucking prescription drugs
From doctors and nurses who lack
They can't see
I have agency

Retarded. I'd rather die, than live a lie
That I'm okay.
Can't you see? It's me. That pill in the bottle?
Yeah, that one on the shelf.
That's me.

How can that be? I broke down at night
Again, and again. Again, and again.
Where were you when I was alright?
I can't remember me without this pain
Unless I take 40mg five times a day

Understand. I don't want to be this way
The cure is coming soon...
My refills are out.